


Cold-Blooded

by mylifeiskara



Series: t100 Fic for BLM Prompts [9]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Twilight Fusion, Angst, F/M, Pining, Slow Burn, Vampires, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29097897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mylifeiskara/pseuds/mylifeiskara
Summary: When Clarke Griffin moved to Arkadia, Washington to live with her dad, she didn't expect to like it. Now she has a great group of friends and a devoted boyfriend. Who just so happens to be a vampire. John Murphy was the best surprise of Clarke's life, and she doesn't want to know life without him. But when Murphy goes away unexpectedly, Clarke is devastated, and she turns to her friend Bellamy in her time of sadness.Or, Twilight if Bella ended up with Jacob at the end of Eclipse.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Clarke Griffin/John Murphy
Series: t100 Fic for BLM Prompts [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105646
Comments: 16
Kudos: 22
Collections: The t100 Writers for BLM Initiative





	Cold-Blooded

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Broashcol94](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Broashcol94/gifts).



> Hello!
> 
> So this fic started as an elaborate joke over the summer as I was showing my sister all the Twilight movies for the first time, and then I got to thinking, "Oh, Murphy's pale, what if he were a vampire?" And then the idea spiraled out of control from there. And Brooke was kind enough to enable me to write it, so thank you very much to Brooke!
> 
> This is exactly what it says on the tin, it's Twilight if Bella ended up with Jacob at the end of Eclipse, so it is Bellarke endgame, with some Clurphy in between. I'm having a lot of fun writing this so far, so I hope you guys enjoy!

Clarke Griffin didn’t expect to like Arkadia, Washington. She only moved there to live with her dad when her mom remarried and moved to Washington, DC with her new senator husband. She figured she’d spend her last two years of high school in Arkadia in relative anonymity then never talk to anyone there again. She wasn’t at all expecting to find a group of friends. Or a devoted boyfriend. Who just so happens to be a vampire.

John Murphy was one of the most mysterious beings Clarke had ever met. According to her friends, he and his siblings Raven, Roan, Harper, and Monty kept to themselves, only interacting with the other students when necessary. But something drew Clarke to Murphy, and that same thing seemed to draw him to her, even if they got off on the wrong foot. But things changed between them when Murphy saved Clarke from a freak accident in the school parking lot. He began to let her in in a way she never thought possible. She got to see a side of him that nobody else did and for the first time in her life someone made her feel special. Being with Murphy meant the world to Clarke, and she couldn’t picture life without him.

The past year had been eventful, to say the least. Vampires don’t make a habit of revealing their true selves to humans. In fact, they’re really not supposed to. But the magnetic pull between Clarke and Murphy was something that Murphy tried to fight, but he could no longer ignore. When they first got together, Murphy called himself a masochist, but Clarke reminded him she’s just as stupid. They couldn’t help that they fell in love with each other.

Murphy and his coven were led by a charismatic vampire named Russell Lightbourne. Russell was Arkadia’s doctor and posed as the group’s father so they could all attend school. He led a different lifestyle than most vampires, one where instead of consuming human blood, they drank only from animals. It was not something most of their kind had the patience for, and even some of the group were still learning. Some had only recently made the switch, and sometimes have trouble being around Clarke as a result.

Clarke sometimes gets annoyed with her boyfriend, because she knows she’d be safer if he would just turn her into a vampire. There would be no fear of him losing control, and they could be together forever. It was the perfect solution, really. But Murphy was adamant that he didn’t want this life for Clarke. Russell only turned Murphy as he was dying, as a last resort. It wasn’t something he chose, and as much as Clarke says she wants this to be her choice, he won’t give in. Which means that unlike her boyfriend, Clarke is still aging.

“Clarke?” a voice calls, paired with a soft knock on her bedroom door.

Clarke’s eyes flutter open as she takes in her surroundings. She looks at the clock on her bedside table and sees that it’s seven. The knock comes again.

“Come in!” Clarke calls.

The knob turns and her dad walks in, a bright smile on his face. “Happy birthday, kiddo!”

She sits up and tries to make what feels like a grimace look like a smile. “Thanks, Dad.”

“Your mom and I collaborated on the present this year,” he says, pulling a hand from behind his back that holds a wrapped gift.

Clarke takes the gift from her dad and looks back up at him. He looks on eagerly, waiting for her to tear the paper off. Clarke used to love her birthday, so it makes sense that her dad looks so excited right about now. She smiles at him and turns back to the gift, carefully ripping the paper as she opens it. Once the paper is gone, she’s met with a photo album and different materials for scrapbooking.

“It’s so you can make a scrapbook for senior year,” her dad explains before handing her one last thing he’d been holding behind his back: a new camera.

Clarke’s eyes widen as she sees the camera. She’d been wanting one for a long time now, even going so far as to window shop at the secondhand store with Monroe. But she couldn’t afford it, so she’d given up hope of getting one.

“Wow, this is really nice. Thank you, Dad.”

“You’re welcome. And I know you’re hanging out with Murphy and his family tonight, so I’ve made you a special breakfast. Chocolate chip pancakes with lots of whipped cream. So get dressed and come on downstairs when you’re ready.”

With that her dad closes the door and leaves Clarke to get ready for the day. She can feign excitement for her father for the next half an hour. Normally, Clarke would be excited too. But now that she’s got an immortal boyfriend, the thought of turning a year older just leaves her with a pit sitting in her stomach. She wouldn’t have to deal with any of this if Murphy would just agree to change her. But she knows he isn’t going to budge on the matter, and that’s the most annoying part.

Clarke has a pleasant, but quick breakfast with her father. As the sheriff of the small town, he has a lot of responsibilities and has to head to work, and Clarke has to go to school. She gets in her car and makes her way there.

Arkadia High School is nothing special. There are only two high schools nearby, Arkadia or Trikru High. The one students attended really depends on how close to the beach they live. Clarke learned quickly though that not everything is as it seems here in Arkadia, but it’s still for the most part a pretty boring place to live.

She parks her car and sees a few of her friends crowded around Sterling’s van. They wave her over, but at the same moment, another car pulls into the lot, and they all laugh.

“Never mind, we’ll see you at lunch!” Sterling shouts as they make their way into the school building.

Clarke frowns, but turns to see that Murphy has just pulled up. She breaks out into a grin, her heart skipping a beat as he steps out of his car. He walks toward her and the moment he sets eyes on her his frown turns to a bright smile. Clarke loves that she’s the only one that can get him to smile like that.

He approaches her and wraps his arms around her waist to pull her in for a hug.

“Happy birthday,” he whispers into her ear before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Clarke groans. “No, it’s not happy. I’m eighteen now, which makes me older than you.”

Murphy laughs. “I may be forever seventeen, but I’d argue I’m still older than you.”

“You know what I mean.”

He shakes his head and chuckles before leaning down to kiss her. All her complaints fly from her brain, as she focuses on the feel of Murphy’s lips on hers. Clarke can still feel him holding back, as if he’s worried he’ll hurt her somehow, but she can tell there’s a bit less restraint, which is an improvement over when they first started dating.

Murphy pulls away after a moment, breathing heavily. Clarke opens her eyes to look at him. His jaw is clenched in concentration, but he still manages a smile.

“I apologize in advance for whatever my family has planned tonight,” he says. “I tried to tell them not to make a big deal, but we don’t really spend much time with humans.”

Clarke chuckles. “That’s okay. It’s kind of cute how excited Harper was when she called me about it last week.”

“She does like any excuse for a celebration.”

Murphy stills, his smile turning to a frown. He must hear something. Clarke doesn’t envy the fact that Murphy can hear other people’s thoughts. All except for hers, apparently. He tells her it’s one of the many reasons he was so drawn to her, because he couldn’t figure her out.

“Is something wrong?” she asks.

“Someone’s here to see you.”

Clarke looks past Murphy to see a familiar figure standing a few feet away. His hair is a mess of unruly curls, and his smile grows as she lays eyes on him. Clarke can’t think of a time she’s ever been sad to see Bellamy Blake, one of her childhood friends. They lost touch when Clarke moved away with her mom, but they’ve seen each other a few times since she moved back to Arkadia.

Clarke lets go of Murphy’s hand and starts towards him. “What are you doing here? You’re not transferring, are you?”

Bellamy laughs. “No, I’m just fine over at Trikru. But I thought I’d drop by. I get the feeling it’s the only way I’m ever gonna hang out with you.”

“If you wanted to hang out, all you had to do was call or text me,” Clarke reminds him.

“I could say the same of you. But I know you’ve been a bit preoccupied.” He motions to Murphy, who is standing in the exact same spot that Clarke left him, unmoving and wary of the situation.

“I’d make time for you. All you have to do is ask.”

He nods, a small smile passing over his face. “Noted.”

They stand looking at each other for a moment. If Clarke has been avoiding Bellamy, she’s not completely sure it’s been an unconscious decision. Ever since she moved back to Arkadia, it feels like something has shifted between the two of them. She can’t explain it, but there’s something different about the way Bellamy looks at her. She can’t put her finger on it, but she doesn’t care to dwell on it. Bellamy is her friend, first and foremost, and she wants to keep it that way.

“So did you really come all the way over here just to say we should hang out more?” Clarke eventually asks.

“Oh, right.” He pulls a small package out of his back pocket and holds it out to her. “Happy, birthday.”

Clarke smiles. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I wanted to. You don’t have to open it right now, but let me know when you do, okay?”

She nods. “Okay. Thank you, Bellamy.”

“You’re welcome.”

Clarke gets a little lost in Bellamy’s smile. It’s different from the way Murphy looks at her, softer. Everything with Murphy is intense, and Clarke likes that about their relationship, but she can’t say she minds these types of smiles, either.

“I think your boyfriend is waiting for you,” Bellamy says, looking past Clarke.

Clarke looks over her shoulder to see Murphy, still standing in his same spot, now with his arms folded across his chest. She can’t help but laugh to herself. He tries to look more menacing than he actually is. Maybe with some people it works, but to her it just makes him look silly.

“Yeah, I should go. And you’re gonna be late for school!” Clarke says, raising an eyebrow at her friend.

Bellamy shrugs. “I’ve got a free period this morning. Nothing but time!”

She laughs. “I’ll see you around, then.”

“You’d better. Happy birthday, Princess!” With that, Bellamy walks off of Arkadia’s parking lot and back into the trees.

Clarke fondly rolls her eyes at her childhood nickname. For a brief period of time when they were little every time they played, Clarke insisted on being a princess and Bellamy was quick to adopt that nickname in everyday use. Now he uses it every chance he gets because he knows it annoys her. She watches him go for another moment before she turns and makes her way back over to Murphy.

Murphy squeezes her hand and they walk into the building together.

“So he’s allowed to get you a gift, but I’m not?” he asks after a moment.

“I didn’t know he was going to get me anything. And you’re enough of a gift on your own,” Clarke says.

Murphy laughs. “That is a disgustingly sappy thing for you to say.”

“Hey, you’re not allowed to make fun of me today.”

He smiles at her as they near her locker. She inputs her combination and is surprised when a wrapped gift falls out and onto the floor. She looks at Murphy, an eyebrow raised, but he puts up his arms in surrender.

“It wasn’t me! I swear.”

Clarke gives him another suspicious look before turning back to the gift and tearing off the wrapping paper. Inside is a simple blue dress, something she wouldn’t pick out for herself, but she knows it’ll still look nice on her. There’s a note attached that reads:

_Happy birthday, Clarke! Wear this to your party tonight ;)_

_xoxo Harper_

“It’s from Harper,” Clarke says.

“I told you she’s overly excited about today.”

“I don’t even think _I’ve_ ever gotten this excited about my birthday. At least not since I was five.”

Murphy shrugs, not having much of an explanation for his sister’s overexcitement. Clarke appreciates it, in all honesty. Harper is her favorite of Murphy’s adoptive siblings. She’s always been the most welcoming and the least intimidating. It’s nice to call her a friend.

“I’ll indulge her, I promise. I guess I should get to class.”

Murphy nods, kissing her on the cheek. “I do technically have a surprise for you before the party. I’ll meet you at your house after school?”

Clarke frowns but nods as Murphy turns and walks in the direction of his first period class. Even though they’re together, John Murphy still has an air of mystery about him that leaves Clarke in a bit of a headspin sometimes, but she lives for the thrill of it.

The day passes uneventfully, which Clarke doesn’t mind in the slightest. She didn’t tell her other friends about her birthday so they wouldn’t make a big deal about it. The only moment where someone almost spills the beans is when Harper runs over to Clarke’s lunch table to give her a hug. Clarke is able to give her a surreptitious look before she says anything, but the whole interaction does earn Harper quite a few confused looks from the rest of the table. Harper doesn’t seem to notice them though, making her way back to the table with Murphy and the others.

Clarke waits for Murphy at her house, shifting uncomfortably in her new dress. As expected, it looks great on her, but she doesn’t wear dresses often, so she’s not very used to the feeling. She smiles as his car pulls up and makes her way to the passenger side.

“So what is this that you have planned?” she asks.

“Nothing crazy,” he says as he pulls back onto the road again. “Just thought it’d be nice to have a little time to ourselves before we headed to party central. And Harper still needed to do a few last minute decorating things she didn’t want you to see.”

“Oh, I see. You’re the distraction.”

“But I’m a great distraction, aren’t I?”

Clarke giggles. “I guess so.”

He navigates them to a deserted field not too far from his house. They come here sometimes when they want to be alone. It’s a somewhat cloudy day, but the sun peeks through so that once they’re situated, it pierces Murphy’s skin, and he glimmers in the sunlight. The Lightbournes settled in Arkadia because of how generally cloudy it is. On days when it’s sunny, Murphy and his siblings aren’t in school. They would draw too much attention, because sparkling in the sun certainly isn’t normal.

Clarke doesn’t think she’ll ever get used to the way Murphy looks in the sun. He lies back with his eyes closed, completely relaxed as light reflects off him, like diamonds. He almost looks fragile, as if he’ll shatter at the slightest touch, but Clarke knows from experience he’s more like marble. She resists the urge to reach out and touch him, not wanting to disturb his peace. He so rarely has these moments where nothing is bothering him, and she doesn’t want to take that away from him. But he’s beautiful, and she can’t help but stare.

He must feel her eyes on him, because he cracks one eye open and lifts up onto his elbows.

“What’s on your mind?” he asks.

Clarke shakes her head. “Nothing. I just sometimes have trouble believing this is real.”

Murphy chuckles. “Do you want me to pinch you?”

“No, I know it’s real. And I know you’re real.”

Murphy sits up so he can put a hand on Clarke’s cheek. “I feel like I almost can’t believe _you’re_ real, half the time.”

She smiles, leaning into his touch. “Well I’m right here.”

He smiles back before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. Clarke relishes in the feel and deepens the kiss, wanting nothing more than to never have to let Murphy go. She pulls him down so she’s lying on her back and he’s hovering above her. She feels his sharp intake of breath as she slips her tongue into his mouth. He doesn’t normally let her do that, worried he’ll get a little carried away and hurt her, but today he moans into her mouth and Clarke can’t help the thrill that courses through her veins that she’s the cause of that. Clarke’s hands travel lower to rest just under the hem of Murphy’s shirt. She’ll never be completely used to how cold his skin is to the touch, but she revels in the smooth feeling of his stomach.

Eventually Murphy pulls away and rests his forehead on hers. He breathes deeply, taking a moment to compose himself.

“I almost got carried away there,” he admits.

“Would that have been so bad?” Clarke wonders aloud.

“I don’t want to hurt you if I lose control, you know that.”

“I know.”

“We should get going, anyway. I’m sure Harper’s had enough time to prepare for you.”

Murphy kisses Clarke’s forehead before standing and offering his hand to her to help her up. They spend the quick five minute drive to his house in silence. It’s not that Clarke’s mad that he doesn’t want to hurt her. She just knows that all their problems would be solved if Murphy would simply turn her into a vampire. She knows she wants to be with him forever. Why is he so adamant on keeping things the way they are?

They pull up at his house and Clarke steps out of the car. The Lightbourne house is probably the most modern looking home of anything one could find in Arkadia. There’s lots of glass windows, which would be more of a problem if they weren’t in such a deserted part of the woods. Clarke is the only human to have ever stepped foot on their property. It’s not like the Lightbournes are big on entertaining their school friends.

Murphy opens the door, allowing Clarke to walk inside. It’s dark and it doesn’t seem like anyone’s there.

The moment Murphy closes the door behind him, the lights flick on and everyone shouts, “Surprise!”

Clarke laughs, mostly because this wasn’t a surprise in the slightest. Harper immediately spilled the beans, too excited to try to make the whole thing a surprise. Clarke looks at the group assembled in front of her, Murphy’s family. Russell is off to the side, that charismatic smile that people find so charming on his face. Harper is holding hands with Monty, who lately has been starting to look less uncomfortable when Clarke is around. He must be getting a handle on controlling his thirst. Roan is pumping his fist in the air, while even Raven has a small smile on her face. They all stand in front of a gaudy banner that reads, “Happy Birthday, Clarke!” It was clearly decorated by hand, and Clarke is floored that these people (well not people, exactly) have gone to so much trouble to make her day special.

“I don’t really know if this counts as a surprise,” Clarke says.

Harper laughs. “Indulge me, please. We don’t get to celebrate birthdays often.”

“Yeah, we’ve never really hung around a human this much before,” Raven remarks.

Clarke and Raven aren’t necessarily the best of friends. Of all of Murphy’s siblings, she seems the least pleased that Murphy is with Clarke. She’s not sure if she did anything to offend Raven or if she’s just like that, but their interactions have been icy, at best. It seems like she’s trying because everyone else likes her. This party was probably the last way that Raven wanted to spend her evening. Though Clarke’s strained relationship with Raven doesn’t even hold a candle to her relationship with Josephine.

There used to be another vampire in Russell’s coven; his daughter, Josephine. Josephine broke from the group, fed up with what she considered a “holier than thou” attitude towards vampires who drank human blood like normal. Every so often she returned to Arkadia to stir up trouble, and Clarke got caught in the middle of it when she and Murphy first got together. Josephine’s mate, Gabriel lured Clarke into an abandoned building, intent on killing her. Murphy was able to swoop in at the last moment and save her, but he had no choice but to kill Gabriel in the process. He knew that Josephine would not take kindly to her mate being killed, so it was only a matter of time before she returned. For now, Clarke was safe, and she tries her hardest to keep Josephine out of her mind.

“But it’s pretty great that the human is this cool!” Roan adds, bringing Clarke back to the present. He steps forward to lift Clarke up in a bear hug. Roan is Raven’s mate, and is much more of a wild card than Raven. Clarke wonders about the circumstances of their getting together sometimes, but she doesn’t spend too much time dwelling on it. She knows they make each other happy, and that’s all that matters.

“Easy, Roan,” Murphy grumbles from behind them.

Roan puts Clarke down. “Don’t worry, I have restraint.”

Murphy rolls his eyes, stepping forward to take Clarke’s hand. Russell chuckles and steps forward to give Clarke a hug.

“Happy birthday, Clarke,” he says.

“Thank you. You guys really didn’t have to do all this.”

“Please, we love a chance to celebrate! And graduation parties get old after a while.”

Clarke chuckles, instinctively looking to the wall of graduation caps. She can understand how graduating might seem boring and mundane after doing it more than once or twice.

“Come on, we have another surprise for you!” Harper says, taking Clarke’s hands and bringing her into the kitchen.

On the counter is a simple birthday cake decorated with pink flowers and “Happy Birthday” written out in sprawling script.

“Did you make this?” Clarke asks Harper.

“I had some help,” she says, gesturing to Monty. So far he hasn’t said anything, but he tends not to say much when Clarke is around.

“I hope it doesn’t taste too bad,” Monty says, a small smile on his face. “We can’t necessarily taste the batter or anything like that.”

“You guys really didn’t have to do all this. Honestly.”

“You’re part of the family now, Clarke. We wanted to,” Harper says firmly.

Clarke is almost a little overwhelmed by how nice and welcoming Murphy’s family has been to her. She’s a complete outsider and they probably had no idea that they could trust her at first. It means a lot to her that they’ve let her into their lives in the same way that Murphy has. She got a lot more than she bargained for being with Murphy, but she wouldn’t trade this for the world.

The party is low key and simple, not nearly as much as Clarke had braced herself for, given how excited Harper gets about things sometimes. But they mostly just talk and watch as Clarke tries her cake, which is surprisingly delicious. Things take an odd turn as they hand Clarke a few more presents.

Clarke opens a necklace from Raven and Roan, touched that Raven played any part in this celebration at all, given their history. Russell hands Clarke a larger box next. She tears at the paper, with not a clue as to what could be inside. As her hand grazes along the edge of the box, she gets a small paper cut.

“Ouch,” Clarke mutters to herself, sucking at the tiny drop of blood that forms where the cut opened her skin.

It’s not much blood, but the room goes silent, as everyone turns to Monty. His face contorts as if he’s trying his hardest to restrain himself, but it doesn’t seem to be working.

It all happens within a split second. Clarke sees Monty rushing towards her and the next thing she knows, Murphy’s arm pushes her back to shield her, only he pushes too hard, and Clarke hits the wall, all the breath knocked out of her. Russell kneels in front of Clarke as Harper and Roan grab Monty and usher him from the room, Raven following behind. Murphy turns to look at Clarke in horror. She’s not sure why he looks so horrified, but then she looks down to find that her arm is bleeding. She can’t even tell what she hit it on.

“Clarke,” Murphy whispers.

“I’m okay,” she says, though she’s still fairly disoriented.

Russell inspects her arm. “It doesn’t look too deep. Let’s just get that cleaned up.” He helps her up and leads her into his office, leaving Murphy standing alone in the living room.

Russell sits Clarke down on a chair as he pulls out his first aid kit and gets to work patching her up.

“Are you alright?” he asks after a moment, staring intently at her arm as he puts a disinfectant wipe to it.

“I’m okay, really. I guess I’m still just in shock. And…” Clarke trails off, not sure she wants to continue this line of thinking in front of Russell.

“And?” he presses.

“I wish Murphy wouldn’t look at me like I’m fragile. Like he might break me. He knows there’s a way that could be fixed, and he won’t do it.”

Russell chuckles. Clarke looks up at him with a frown.

“Sorry. It’s just that the two of you are both so stubborn and set in your ways. You’re perfect for each other, really. I’m sure you’ve noticed but Murphy doesn’t have the most sunny disposition.”

Clarke snorts. “That’s the understatement of the century.”

“You’re good for him. When he’s with you, it’s like he allows himself to feel again. He hasn’t enjoyed life like this in a long time. I don’t think he’s ever felt this way before.”

She smiles, despite herself. Murphy has been pretty forthcoming about how he feels about Clarke, but it’s nice to hear someone else who’s on the outside looking into their relationship say it as well. Even if it is someone as biased as the man pretending to be his father.

“I just wish he wouldn’t act like I don’t know what I want. I _do_ know.”

Russell nods. “I understand. And I don’t want to speak for Murphy, but I think he gets hard on himself about a lot of things, things that are out of his control. When you’re like us, you get to spend a lot of time thinking and it’s hard not to spiral sometimes.”

“I just wish he would let me in. Maybe I’d understand if he gave me more of a reason.”

“I’m sure all you have to do is ask.”

Russell puts a bandage on Clarke’s arm and declares her good as new. The whole incident kind of put a damper on the party, so Murphy helps Clarke bring her presents to the car and drives her home. They’re silent for most of the ride, Clarke staring out the window watching the trees they pass by. It’s eerily quiet as the fall really sets in now that it’s October. Eventually she turns to look at Murphy. His eyes are focused on the road and his jaw is clenched as if he’s still upset about earlier.

“Murphy, I’m okay,” she says.

“I know.”

“Then why are you acting like I died? It’s just a scratch.”

“These accidents would be so minor if we weren’t all a bunch of killing machines. Imagine if that had happened around your human friends. You would’ve gotten a band-aid and moved on. You know, half the time I think Raven’s right. I shouldn’t have dragged you into all of this.”

“Hey.” She puts her hand on his leg. “You didn’t drag me into anything. I _want_ to be with you. You act like this thing is such a curse, but I don’t see it that way.”

Murphy shakes his head. “How can you not?”

“When I look at you, I see someone so unique. And you’ve been through a lot, but you’re still here to tell the tale. You act like you’re damned to do this alone forever, but you don’t have to. You have me.”

By now they’ve pulled into Clarke’s driveway, next to her dad’s car. She doesn’t make any move to get out, wanting to see this conversation through.

Murphy sighs. “I just don’t want to see you hurt. And to think that I could be the one to hurt you? It kills me.”

Clarke knows it’s fruitless to bring up turning her again, so she lets the subject rest. Instead she holds Murphy’s hand, stroking it with her thumb. She doesn’t know how to help Murphy with all this guilt he shoulders, but she can at least sit here and just be with him.

“You know when I woke up, I really wasn’t looking forward to today,” she admits. “But you made it really nice.”

He smirks, lifting his head to look in her eyes. “I’m pretty sure me slamming you into a wall wasn’t something for the highlights reel.”

Clarke laughs. “It wasn’t. But it didn’t ruin my day, if that’s what you think. I still had a nice time.”

Murphy nods, holding Clarke’s gaze. Her breath catches in her throat as she looks into his eyes. She doesn’t think she’ll ever get used to the way he looks at her, as if she’s his whole world. It’s overwhelming in the best way.

“It’s still my birthday,” she says, a sly smile on her face. “Kiss me?”

He smiles before leaning in to kiss her. It’s not long, but Clarke doesn’t mind. She has forever with Murphy.

“Your dad is wondering why you haven’t come in the house yet,” Murphy says.

Clarke chuckles before pressing one last kiss to Murphy’s lips. “I guess I shouldn’t keep him waiting.”

She gets her presents and makes her way into the house. Murphy doesn’t pull out of the driveway until she’s all the way inside. Sure enough, her dad is sitting on the couch, watching television, as if he’s been waiting for her to return home for a while.

“How was your little party?” he asks.

“It was nice. But I’m pretty tired, so I’m just gonna head to bed.”

“Sounds good. Good night, sweetie.”

“Good night, Dad.”

Clarke goes upstairs and closes herself into her room. All in all, she had a good birthday, when she certainly didn’t expect to. She smiles to herself, thinking about how nice it felt to have people be excited about today that weren’t related to her. Murphy might not be ready to turn her into a vampire, but at least she could rest easy knowing that his family would accept her either way.

Clarke sits down on her bed and notices a small package lying next to her. She still has Bellamy’s gift that she forgot to open. She unwraps it and opens the box. Inside is a simple leather bracelet. It looks handmade, and Clarke is in awe. She didn’t know Bellamy could even do something like this. She pulls out her phone and sends him a quick text as a thank you. He’s quick to reply, just with a simple “Hope you had a nice day” and a smiley face. Clarke smiles to herself and makes a mental note that she does want to hang out with Bellamy more. She really has missed her friend.

About a week passes, and Clarke’s life goes on like normal, but Murphy and the rest of his family don’t show up at school. She texts him the first day he’s gone and he replies that they’re on an extended hunting trip. She doesn’t think anything of it. She resists the urge to text back saying to be careful. Clarke’s dad has been busy at work, with lots of reports of bear attacks in the woods. But she knows the Lightbournes could probably take a bear.

Clarke pulls into her driveway on a Friday afternoon, glad the week is finally over. She’s looking forward to the weekend, since she promised to take pictures of Monroe and Sterling on their skateboards to get practice with her new camera. She lets herself into the house and goes to her room. She jumps when she sees Murphy sitting on her bed. He’s staring down at the ground, a somber look on his face.

“You could’ve just texted me, I didn’t know you were back,” she says as she throws her backpack down.

Murphy shrugs, not looking at her. “Thought this was easier.”

Clarke frowns and goes to sit down next to him. “Is something wrong?”

He doesn’t say anything, just stares down at his hands. Clarke tries to put hers on top of his, but he flinches, moving away from her.

“Murphy, did something happen?” she presses.

“Russell is supposed to be ten years older than he looks,” he begins. “And people are starting to notice.”

Clarke frowns. “Okay. What does that mean?”

“It means we have to leave Arkadia.”

Clarke’s heart drops at Murphy’s words. She knows when he says they have to leave it means they won’t come back. She doesn’t want to think about what that means for her, for them. “Oh. Well, I still have to finish out the school year. I don’t think my dad would like it very much if I dropped everything and just followed you somewhere, but once we’re past graduation, I don’t think he’ll have much of a leg to stand on.”

Murphy shakes his head, his jaw clenched. “When I say ‘we’ I mean just me and my family.”

It’s silent as Clarke processes what Murphy is saying to her. Just a week ago he was treating her like she was the most important thing in the world to him, and now he’s ready to leave her and everything they have behind at the drop of a hat.

“I don’t know what to say,” she says after a moment. She’s at a loss for words, stunned that this is happening. Murphy is supposed to be her forever, but now it’s coming to an abrupt end.

“You don’t have to say anything. I have to go with my family, and you have to stay here with yours.”

Clarke takes Murphy’s face in her hands so that she can look him in the eye. “But isn’t that what we are? I thought you were my family.”

He gently removes her hands from his face and gets up from her bed. “No, we’re not. You know, this whole entire thing is my fault. I shouldn’t have started this. You’re no good for me, Clarke.”

She lets out a small gasp as a few tears trickle down her face. “Don’t say that. You don’t mean it. You love me, you said so yourself.”

“I do mean it. This was a mistake. We’re too different. And you deserve someone better than me.”

Clarke stands up, moving towards Murphy, but he just takes a step back. He looks pained, like he doesn’t want to do this, just as much as she doesn’t want him to. But he won’t budge.

“I don’t care about what I deserve. I love you, I only want you,” she says, wanting desperately for this to be a bad dream.

“Well maybe I don’t want you,” Murphy says bitterly.

Clarke feels like she’s been punched in the gut at those words. She knew Murphy had the power to hurt her, but not like this.

“Goodbye, Clarke.” With that he turns to exit her bedroom, leaving Clarke in complete disbelief at what’s just occurred. She thought she made Murphy happy. She thought he felt the same way. Apparently she was mistaken.

Clarke’s vision is clouded by tears as she lets them fall freely now that she’s alone. She’s stunned, not sure how to process the past five minutes. How does she move on when her entire world has just been turned upside down? She can’t accept what’s just happened, doesn’t want to admit that it’s really over. It can’t be true. Murphy always talks about not wanting to hurt her, yet somehow the pain he’s causing her by leaving feels worse than anything Clarke has ever experienced. She sinks to the floor and curls her knees up to her chest, wishing more than anything to wake up from this terrible nightmare.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! Let me know what you think.
> 
> This fic is going to be six chapters, 3 for New Moon and 3 for Eclipse. I'm working through my prompt list, which you can find a tentative schedule of [here](https://queenemori.tumblr.com/post/641216982338945024/karas-upcoming-fic-schedule-this-is-my-pinned). It's also the pinned post on my Tumblr, so you can see when I plan to update things. If you'd like more info on t100 Fic for BLM, you can check out [our carrd](https://t100fic-for-blm.carrd.co/).
> 
> And as always, come find me on [Tumblr](https://queenemori.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/queen_emori).


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